06 October, 2008

untitled. ramblings. chapter: wants.

so i've taken time to think.
which at times should not be done under the influence of these things:
wishful thinking of the sexual nature.
or in my case, the last cold shiner in the fridge.
aahhh! my sweet rescue from this crazy day of thinking what i shouldn't and not caring of the consequences.

but in all honesty, it's the late night thinking sessions that show who i really am. when the only thing that i have to listen to is the ceiling fan above me and my thoughts. (wish i knew what it is with me and ceiling fans today...) but anyways. you'll have to excuse my ADD in this.

this is what i WANT:
plain and simple.
good old fashioned.
to have a smile on my face that makes people wonder "what is she thinking about?" you know that smile. it's almost equivalent to the hollywood-million dollar-yes, i know i look fabulous and you can't have me-smile. i actually have a photo of myself, with this aforementioned smile. LOVE this photo. haven't smiled like that in a long time. sadly, i can't say what was going thru my mind. i can tell you i was smiling at the waiter who was bringing me this awesome chocolate thing for my birthday. but i can't tell you WHAT i was smiling about. sometimes, those things don't need to be said out loud. as if i'll just keep this under my hat until i feel okay with voicing my feelings. which is something very hard for me to do.
i'm a talker.
i kiss-n-tell.
i like to see the reaction on your face when i tell you that dark secret.
and right now, i have a lot of them. just need to wait for the right timing. and me + time = no bueno! my timing is what got me into this mess. hopefully, it will show me the way out the back door before i make an ass out of myself.

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